My Letter to Santa
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
Hi, how are you? How are Mrs. Claus and the grandkids? I’m hoping for some of my own (see below). Are the reindeer okay? I’m so happy you are all immune from COVID-19. It’s been a real bitch down here. Forgive my profanity, but thanks to some really stupid U.S. leadership, we’ve lost over 300,000 souls to the virus. Luckily, thank God, my family survived COVID. That’s really the only thing I wanted for Christmas this year. But me, being me, decided I could add a few Christmas, “Don’t wants” to my list.
This year please don’t bring me:
· Anything that has anything to do with Ben Roethlisberger;
· Another coronavirus;
· Higher Southwest fares;
· Heavy California rains until AFTER Oct. 30;
· A lot of distance learning, and for that matter, Betsy DeVos;
· Another Dodger World Series win;
· Another Steph Curry injury;
· Another “Real Housewives” series (Sorry, Mick);
· Another presidential election. My nerves can’t handle it;
· More poop to scoop at the dog park;
· More anxiety in general.
Okay, wait. I did think of some more things to bring me:
· Health and happiness to all my family and friends – you know who you are.
· A grandchild (a longshot, I know);
· Continued sobriety;
· That pretty white-stone house in Keller, Texas. Yes, Texas. Unless you have something else in mind;
· Substantial disability or a super job that will help pay for that pretty white-stone house in Keller, Texas;
· A beautiful day on Oct. 30, 2021;
· A thrilling, come-from-behind playoff run and World Series victory for the SF Giants (a longshot, I know);
· Some court cases and convictions for you-know-who (I guess I’m not that nice of a person. I’m sorry.);
· A new soft bouncy pillow for my bed;
· To take up cooking as enthusiastically as I’ve taken up yoga;
· Tony Romo to take over Chris Collingsworth’s slot on “Sunday Night Football”;
· Intelligent gun and climate control;
· Comfortable masks and better yet, for everyone to embrace the vaccine;
· To get rid of my sometimes crippling anxiety. It’s really run its course;
· Publication of “The Road to 30,” by up-and-coming food author Tony Ucciferri. (It’s just waiting on an, ahem, copy edit.);
· To find a pastime in which I am passionate about and make some money from it. Not a lot. Just enough for that cute white-stone house in Keller, Texas.
· Joy and happiness for my husband, three children, two dogs and one me;
· Never learning all there is to know about faith.
I am writing this on Dec. 14. It’s the date of a big lunar eclipse in Sagittarius, visible from below the equator. It heralds in a new way of life, and is the warm-up celestial event for Next Monday’s “Great Conjunction.” That’s when the planets Jupiter and Saturn, appear closest together in the sky. According to one of my favorite sources, Wikipedia (hey, take some time to support it) these conjunctions occur every 19.859 years, on average, when Jupiter “overtakes” Saturn in the sky due to the combined effect of Jupiter's approximately 11.9-year orbital period and Saturn's 29.5-year orbital period. But the interval can be longer or shorter – the last Great Conjunction occurred in May 2000. They care calling this the advent of the Age of Aquarius and this is the best part: It’s happening on Dec. 21, the Winter Solstice.
Yes, I’m an astrology and fledgling astronomy geek. I read tarot cards, and ironically, have become more spiritually fit, closer to my higher power because of them. They aren’t just woo-woo – they demand you have faith.
It’s been a long year for us down here, and an even longer two-and-a-half years for me personally. But I had no real faith back in July of 2018, just the fast-food kind. I have a much stronger faith now, in many different entities that lead up to one big higher power.
For me, that power starts with the birth of a baby. For others, it may not, and that’s cool. But like I asked for, I never want to finish learning more about it. Happy Stars, Santa, and everyone else!